First Impressions

Working on a few things to post over the next week, but for now I’m going to share a draft of Phantasia’s first chapter (I must stress the draft part – I’ve already notes on things I want to change!). I’m posting this for those who have stuck with me all this time. I really do worry that people think I’ve given up, or that I’ve been slacking off XD

The Girl who Fell from the Sky, part I

This is about the fifth variation of the first chapter I’ve written since the start of 2012. The first chapter is also a reader’s first impression of the story, so I’ve been going through all these different versions trying to work out what I want that first impression to be. One could go even further and say the first page – the first paragraph even – is the most important of all (and I still need to work on that). You’ve got maybe a couple thousand words – a couple hundred even – to establish themes and character, and get the reader hooked. I have no idea if I’ve ever come close to doing that.

On the plus side, it’s not the first chapter from years ago. My embarrassment over that tragedy is what has spurred me into putting so much effort into it this time!

So let me know what you’re first impressions are. The one thing a writer can never do is approach their work as a new reader would!

Posted on January 14, 2013, in Phantasia, Writing. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Hahaha, Dante has an awesome hobby, recording the moon to troll people. Although, is Theia actually the moon? I’m pretty sure so, but I don’t think it was made clear.

    Heheh, Erebus Delusion. Written by a Dante Dawkins, perhaps?

    Oh, something random: Chrome + pdf = it looks really weird when you select chunks of text. Ignore it, pdf is bad anyway, I’ll live with it.


    Typos (how many did I miss?)
    Do you even care? Or are you likely to end up rewriting this again anyway?

    “So, you’re usually up on the roof mornings, right?”
    He turned away and shuffled out the kitchen

    • Yes, Theia is the Moon. A quick internet search should explain the reasoning behind that XD

      It will go through another draft, and an edit, but flagging typos is always appreciated since some will always inevitably slip through.

  2. Its different but I like it, just gave it to a friend who never read the original, he says its got a good start and that it should be an interesting thing to read

    • Cheers for reading, and passing it on too! Out of curiosity, how would you say the ‘feel’ is different?

      • Its does feel different from the first intro I read, but i’m not sure whether that’s due to me ‘knowing’ what happens during the trip (unless it’s changed)so I have a sense of expectation where newer readers may not… if that makes sense.

        Im going to assume that Theia is simular tot he primordial darkness and that the fear of ‘her’ falling is what produces Erebus. Either way it sound fun and im looking forward to it all the more.

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